The Unconventional Proposal: How a TV Show Made Me Rethink Marriage
There’s something about a good romcom that can make you question everything—your life choices, your priorities, and apparently, your stance on marriage. For me, that moment came while watching Too Much, Lena Dunham’s 2025 Netflix series. I’ve been with my partner, Martin, for a decade, and we’ve always agreed on one thing: marriage wasn’t for us. He sees it as a tool of state control and a relic of patriarchy—arguments I’ve never been able to refute. But then Jessica and Felix happened, and suddenly, I was dialing Martin’s number to propose. Over the phone. From my parents’ house.
What makes this particularly fascinating is how a show about two deeply flawed characters managed to upend my long-held beliefs. Jessica, played by Meg Stalter, is chaotic, loud, and unapologetically herself. Felix, portrayed by Will Sharpe, is her devoted counterpart, loving her despite—or maybe because of—her messiness. Personally, I think this dynamic resonates with me because I see myself in Jessica’s unpredictability and Martin in Felix’s unwavering commitment. It’s a love that feels real, not because it’s perfect, but because it’s honest.
One thing that immediately stands out is the wedding scene in the final episode. It’s not the grand affair I’d fantasized about as a child—no tiki torches, no white dress, just a casual ceremony on the steps of a London town hall. Felix’s joke after the kiss—‘So how long do you want to stay married for?’—felt more romantic than any grandiose vow. What this really suggests is that marriage isn’t about locking yourself into a lifelong contract but about choosing each other every day. That idea hit me hard.
If you take a step back and think about it, marriage is often portrayed as this monolithic institution, but Too Much strips it down to its essence: two people deciding to be together, flaws and all. What many people don’t realize is that the anti-marriage stance—like Martin’s—can sometimes be more about rejecting the spectacle than the commitment itself. Martin hates being the center of attention, but I suspect he’s more romantic than he lets on. He just doesn’t want the fanfare.
A detail that I find especially interesting is how my childhood fantasies of a big wedding clashed with the reality of what I actually wanted. As a kid, I obsessed over the details—the tiki torches, the ceremony—but the groom was always a blur. It was never about him; it was about me. Watching Too Much made me realize that marriage isn’t about fulfilling a childhood dream; it’s about honoring the relationship you’ve built. So, I proposed with a promise: no big wedding, no guests, just us.
Martin was confused at first—he hadn’t even seen the show—but he said yes. We’re getting married in September, in my parents’ kitchen. No cake, no tiki torches, and I’m still fighting to add people to the guest list (Martin keeps crossing them out). But here’s the thing: this feels right. It’s not the wedding I imagined as a kid, but it’s ours.
This raises a deeper question: why do we cling to these grand, often outdated ideas of what marriage should be? From my perspective, the beauty of Jessica and Felix’s wedding wasn’t in its scale but in its authenticity. It made me wonder how many of us are missing out on meaningful commitments because we’re too busy chasing the ‘perfect’ wedding.
In my opinion, Too Much isn’t just a romcom—it’s a commentary on modern relationships. It challenges us to rethink what marriage means and why we want it. For me, it was about reclaiming the institution on my own terms. Martin and I are still anti-patriarchy, anti-state control, but we’re also pro-love. And sometimes, that’s enough.
So, thank you, Lena Dunham, for convincing me to propose. And thank you, Martin, for saying yes—even if it meant giving up your hardline stance. Our wedding might not be perfect, but it’s perfectly us. And isn’t that the point?
